I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
