cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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