went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
