I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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