So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
