I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
