not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
