I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
