Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
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