Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
