So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
