I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
