so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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