he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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