Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
