It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
