I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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