he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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