What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
