How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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