Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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