Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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