38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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