How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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