im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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