You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
