It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
