are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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