i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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