A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
