i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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