we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
