I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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