Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
