Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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