I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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