You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
