your thong is hanging out like whoa
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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