Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
