she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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