so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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