i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
did you just send me my own nude
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
