i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
