Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
