If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My liver just had a heart attack.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
