Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
