Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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