possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
