i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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