The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
