bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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