I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
